Hot Pants
by YonderB
Summary: my first RoyRiza fanfiction and FMA fanfiction combined. Roy has become the Fuhrer and has approved miniskirts as the women's dress code, but Riza decides to wear something different.
1. she was wearing Hot Pants

Riza Hawkeye stood there, eyes slightly wide, staring strait in front of her, a few beads of sweat dribbling down her face.

Miniskirts have been _approved_ for the women's uniform by the new Fuhrer.

Roy Mustang.

_Oh dear lord._

Riza blinked away the shock and stared at Mustang, of whom was watching her with an amused smirk on his face.

The men of whom were standing beside Riza; Havoc, Armstrong, etc. The usual gang, got down upon their knees and started groveling happily at Roy's feet, dribbles of blood oozing out from under their noses.

Roy happily soaked in the groveling and praise, his eyes still on Riza of whom refused to move or make a sound.

**-- The Next Morning --**

Riza stood, transfixed at the package that had just been delivered to her. It was only 8 am, but Hawkeye was wide awake.

_was this a joke...?_

Hawkeye held up the mini skirt, if it could be called that. It was hardly longer than one of those '_hot pants_'.

"Darn you, sir..." muttered Riza, storming into her room and slamming the door, causing Black Hayate to poke his head out of the kitchen in a confused manner, a piece of cheese in his mouth and the fridge door hanging wide open.

**-- At The Military --**

Roy was happily strolling along the corridors, taking in the 'sights'. So far, all the women of whom were wearing the miniskirts had no problem except embarrassment and rather high-pitched squealing of horror whenever someone walked past and looked at them, while they were trying to pull their skirts down so it wouldn't show off their panties.

Roy wandered through the corridors toward the front door and stopped dead.

Hawkeye had just walked in, a very _VERY_ nice sight indeed. But she was not wearing the miniskirt that was now part of the dress code.

She was wearing _hot pants_.

Roy whimpered as his little alter ego squealed at the top of it's lungs and fainted from a rather explosive nosebleed.

Roy had always wondered what kind of legs Hawkeye had. The baggy pants of which used to be the dress code didn't help him find out. But now he had seen them, he was impressed.

They. Were. _WONDERFUL_.

Finely toned, curvy and certainly the kind that you would think a person who worked out often, would have.

"Sir?"

Mustang blinked numerous times to clear his mind as those wonderful legs walked over to him.

"You okay, sir? You're bleeding." said Hawkeye, raising a hand and touching Roy under his nose, wiping away the blood that was dribbling down from his nose.

Roy quickly clapped a hand over his nose. "It's nothing, Hawkeye! _Nothing_!"

Hawkeye looked confusedly at him, Black Hayate sitting next to her, sniffing her fingers which had Roy's blood on them.

"I'll be back with you as soon as i put my stuff away, sir." Hawkeye said professionally, walking around Roy and past him, Black Hayate trotting at her heels.

Roy took this opportunity to have a look at how well the hot pants look on Hawkeye from the back.

Riza was too far down the hall to hear the blood explode from behind Roy's hand and for the Fuhrer to fall to the ground with a dull '_thud_'.

Riza walked through the corridors confidently, ignoring the stares she was getting from female and male alike, putting her stuff down on her desk, placing Hayate on her chair and telling him to '_guard. the. paperwork._'

Ignoring the confused look on Hayate's face, Hawkeye turned and walked back through the doors, looking for Mustang.

Riza didn't have to look far to find her Fuhrer, he was sitting on a bench with Armstrong and Havoc, kneeling in front of him and tending to him with tissues.

"What happened?" asked Riza, standing behind Havoc, staring at Roy of whom was covered in blood and had a tissue firmly clamped over his nose, a dazed look on his face.

"He said he saw Hawkeye's--" started Havoc, turning around to be face to face with Riza's beautifully bare thighs.

"Uuuuuuu..."

_thud_

Riza looked down at the blood-fountain issuing from Havoc's nose, then at Armstrong of whom was bright scarlet and determinedly not looking at her.

Roy waved a hand, motioning that Armstrong could go, the strong-man quickly sweeping gracefully from the scene.

Riza sighed and took a tissue, still behind Havoc's motionless body and dabbing at the blood on Mustang's soaked shirt-front.

"Why did you have to wear _hot pants_, lieutenant?" Mustang asked in a thick voice as Hawkeye took his heavy great-coat off him and folded it, the tissue still over his nose.

"They're longer than the skirt, and at least i don't have to be worried about men peeking at my underwear." Hawkeye said simply, starting to undo the Fuhrer's short-coat, which was, too, covered in blood.

Mustang blinked stupidly as Hawkeye pushed the short-coat off his shoulders, stepping forward a little, tripping on Havoc's unmoving body, causing herself to lose her balance and fall onto Mustang's lap.

The two of them stared at each other in silence, Hawkeye's arms over Mustang's shoulders, one knee in between his legs and the other dangling over the edge of the bench, the two of them practically nose to nose besides the fact that Roy had a hand over his.

Riza faintly saw that the tissue covering Roy's nose went a little more red.

((TBC. the next chapter is the final one and is much longer than this one. xDD and for those who are wondering, yes. this is the ONLY het couple i like.))


	2. Simple Maths

Havoc shook his head and slowly opened his eyes, wiping under his nose with the back of his hand, his head felt light from losing a lot of blood.

He was about to ask the usual question: '_Where am i?_' but something caught his attention.

A slim, curvy leg was trailed over his chest.

Havoc followed the length of the bare leg with his eyes and his eyes widened in shock at what he saw.

First lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, on the lap of Fuhrer Roy Mustang. Both of them silently looking into each other's eyes, Hawkeye's arms over Mustang's shoulders and his arms hanging by his sides.

Havoc slowly got an evil idea and slipped out from under Hawkeye's leg and under the bench the two were on silently, an evil grin on his face.

Riza had never noticed how deep Roy's eyes were, they were filled with bottled up emotions like a soda in a can... Maybe he wasn't just a perverted goof-ball...

Hawkeye then felt fingertips trail up her thigh.

Okay, maybe he _was_ just a perverted goof-ball.

Roy dragged his eyes over Riza's face. Her sharp eyebrows, her small nose, her full, moist, pouting peach lips...

"Sir, please don't touch my legs." Hawkeye said in a sharp voice, making Mustang blink.

"I didn't." he said simply, raising his eyebrows at why she would think such a thing.

Hawkeye blinked. "But... You..."

"AH!" Mustang was shoved forward by an unknown thing and fell off the bench, catching Hawkeye just in time, on all fours, but with one arm around Hawkeye's waist.

Hawkeye's eyes were wide, her arms tight around Mustang's neck as he got up, pulling her to her feet also. She could feel his rippling muscles through his white-stained-red cotton shirt. He smelt nice too... Riza never usually went by people about their scents, but Roy's scent was an interesting one.

Something in between icecream, lighting fluid and steel...

Havoc was happy with himself. He was grinning under the bench after having trailed his fingers up Hawkeye's thigh to check if she liked that, and then pushed Mustang onto Hawkeye by slipping his arm up in between the bench and the wall because she didn't. So far, his plan to get the two of them together, was going reasonably as planned.

Roy was silent as he slipped his other arm around Riza's waist. He couldn't help liking the feeling of her breasts against his chest. They were warm and soft through his and Raza's clothing. He tried _not_ to think about what it would feel like without the clothing in between, but it was just too alluring. Not to mention if he looked down a tiny bit over her shoulder he could see her hot-pants-clad-nicely-shapen ass.

Riza loosened her arms around Roy's neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't mention it." Roy said hoarsely, the mental images of him and Riza having successfully killed his alter ego from bloodloss.

"Oh, just kiss _already_!"

Roy and Riza's eyes widened to the size of saucers and they sprang apart, staring at the bench.

There was complete silence for a total of five minutes before Riza took out a gun and pointed it at the bench.

Havoc poked his head out from under the bench, grinning goofily.

Riza cocked the gun.

"Calm down, lieutenant." sighed Mustang, crossing his arms, looking down at Havoc.

Riza looked like she was about to disobey, but finally uncocked the gun and stowed it in it's holster, Havoc letting out a small sigh of relief.

"What do you think you were doing there, Havoc?" asked Roy, looking down at his blood-soaken shirt, tugging at it a little.

"Trying to get you two together." Havoc said bluntly, sliding out from under the bench and heaving himself onto it.

"And why, pray tell, were you trying to do that?" Mustang said delicately, looking at Havoc.

Havoc grinned. "You like Hawkeye, Hawkeye likes you. Just simple maths, sir."

"_Maths_, you say?" asked Roy, shifting his weight to a different foot.

"yup! girl _plus_ a guy, _minus_ the clothes, _divide_ the legs, and hope that they won't _multiply_!" Havoc chimed in a sing-song voice.

Riza placed a hand to her forehead silently and sweatdropped, as though it gave her a headache at how innocently crude Havoc had just been.

Roy placed a hand under his nose and quickly rubbed away the small amount of blood that had appeared there. "Where did you learn that kind of math, Havoc?"

Jean Havoc was silent, scratching his head, a small confused look on his face. "Forgotten, sir."

"Well, try it out on one of your girlfriends and not on us." Roy sighed, glancing over at Riza, of whom had a slight pink tinge to her cheeks. "Do you have anything to add, lieutenant?"

Riza shook her head, not removing her hand from her forehead.

"Right. Off you go, Havoc." sighed Roy, making shooing motions with his hands, Havoc grinning and walking off down the hall.

Roy looked over at Riza to see her massaging her temples with her fingers, eyes closed, a small frown and pink blush on her face.

Mustang rose his eyebrows at how cute that slight amount of pink on her cheeks made her. It made her look more feminine and cute... Not to mention just plain yummy with those hot-pants.

Roy silently wondered how far Riza would let him go with Havoc's version of math.

Riza opened her eyes, letting her hands fall to her sides, the frown still in place, the blush on her cheeks unknown to her.

"Hawkeye, you really should wear hot pants more often."

Hawkeye rolled her eyes. She only wore the hot pants because she didn't want men staring at her underwear, not because Mustang was a 'leg man'. Yes, she knew Roy loved legs. She had noticed all the women that he dated had beautiful, long legs. Just something that you notice occasionally...

Riza felt a soft hand trail up her back and place itself on her shoulder. She turned and looked at her Fuhrer curiously.

"You should look more feminine, more often, lieutenant." Roy breathed, wrapping his arms around her.

Riza shrugged lightly, her face buried in the crook of his neck, not knowing why Roy was hugging her, but she didn't mind. Feeling Mustang pull away a little, she looked up at him.

The two of them looked into each other's eyes again, completely silent, Havoc's words echoing in Mustang's ears.

Mustang needed to find out what she'd do... How she felt... So he lightly leant in and pressed his lips against hers, savoring the feeling of her soft, moist lips against his for only a second or two before pulling back.

Mustang looked into Hawkeye's wide, amber eyes.

She tested like gunpowder and sugar...

Watching...

Waiting...

He was ready for a slap. A scream. A gasp... _Anything_... He just needed to know her feelings!

Roy felt Riza's arms move away from around his waist, his worst fears confirmed. She had no feeling for him.

But before he could turn and start beating the shit out of himself for feeling so heavily about her, Hawkeye's arms slipped around his neck.

"Lieuten--?" Mustang started, but he was pushed back against the wall, those soft, peach lips against his own.

Roy's eyes rolled in his sockets fluttered closed, his arms tightening around Riza's waist. Riza moved closer, her arms tightening around his neck.

She _did_ have feelings for him...

Roy tested his boundaries.

Roy slipped his tongue out of his mouth and swept it against the seam of Riza's lips, he was more than a little surprised when Riza's mouth opened with no hesitation, her tongue coaxing his into her mouth.

After a few minutes of tonsil hockey, the Riza and Roy broke apart, panting slightly for breath.

"Cherry toothpaste?" panted Roy, smirking and cocking an eyebrow.

Riza looked away and blushed, a small smile on her face.

Roy chuckled and pressed his lips against hers again, Riza immediately returning the kiss.

"See? Simple math. Now you have to do the rest of the equation!"

Riza and Roy's eyes snapped open and they whipped around to see the whole gang, including Ed, Al, Winry, all standing there and grinning, Havoc at the front.

Armstrong happily sparkled at the back, tears streaming down his cheeks. Al and Winry grinned, their cheeks pink. Ed just stood there, his eyebrows raised and Havoc grinned happily as though he just tricked someone to do his own bidding.

"Go on! Go do the rest of the equation!" squealed Havoc, grabbing Hawkeye and Mustang, shoving them out of the building, the rest of the gang following, watching Havoc as though he was a crazy person, which, he usually is when he's playing the 'Matchmaker'.

"And if we don't?" asked Mustang lazily, looking at Havoc, an arm over Hawkeye's shoulders.

Riza got out her gun behind her back and pressed the muzzle of it into Mustang's ribs, looking indifferent on the outside. She didn't run on batteries, y'know... There is a certain line where a full-grown young woman can go without having a sex-life, and Riza's workload only _just_ kept that line back.

Havoc sighed heavily, closing the door and grinning at them through the glass, giving them a wink before walking off with the rest of the gang.

Mustang winced as the gun twisted in his ribs and looked down at Hawkeye, of whom was still looking at the doors.

"Don't get it much, do you?" asked Mustang simply, a small smirk on his face.

"It's not part of my work." Hawkeye said determinedly, giving Mustang a meaningful look while she put her gun back in it's holster.

Mustang smirked, glancing down at the hot-pants Hawkeye was still wearing.

"Lets just call it a '_punishment_'."

"Punishment for what, sir?"

"Not abiding by the dress code."

"Oh, come now... Sir. Those skirts were _shorter_ than my hot-pants..."

"Exactly."

"What is the point of me wearing a miniskirt, sir? I need you to take me seriously."

"I'll take you seriously after i've added the next rule of how secretaries, such as yourself, can and will, sit on my lap during work hours."

"... I am not a secretary, and, sir, you are unbelievable, sometimes..."

"And you love me for it."

"... True, sir..."

"... You do have that gun uncocked, right?"

"... Please don't talk to me about 'cocking'."

"Because you'll get impatient because we're not at my place yet?"

"... Maybe."

((END. WOOOOOO! DONE! my first FMA fanfiction, and my first het fanfiction that i am reasonably proud of! no flames, please! i know my writing sucks! and with Havoc's 'math', a friend of mine told me about it. it is in no way my idea!))


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